


Home

by foreveroptimist



Category: Neighbours (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:29:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreveroptimist/pseuds/foreveroptimist
Relationships: Paul Robinson/Terese Willis
Comments: 13
Kudos: 11





	Home

He stepped out on the balcony, the suburb was lit up by streetlights, but the sounds from people, traffic, and everything else that made Erinsborough come to life every night, hardly reached the penthouse. As he watched the view that had been a part of his home for so many years, he felt almost nostalgic, and considered pouring himself a glass of scotch from the bar, just for old times sake. 

He had come up here tonight just to check the penthouse one last time before the guest who would be staying here for the next week would arrive tomorrow morning. It was hard to believe that this had been his home, just a little over a year ago. It felt different now.  
Maybe it was because all his personal belongings were gone. The family photos , the pinecone from the worksite at Robinson heights that he had taken home the day he decided to name the project after his dad… No Cold Chisel playing on the stereo. 

He walked off the balcony and sat down at the sofa.  
“Do you have a phobia against my house?” That`s what she had asked that night. He had laughed. Made jokes about it, told her that he was just more comfortable here, with his things around him, access to room service at all time…  
He knew already, back then, that they were meant to be. That they would, eventually be living together. That she would, after all this time, one day finally become his wife. He had just hoped that they would live here, in the penthouse, just the two of them.

Even spending the night at her house was hard for him, but he never told her. How could he? How could he tell her the truth?  
How could he tell her that her home, the house where she had settled, where she had her last memories of Josh, where she felt relaxed and safe, was the one place he felt like a failure? 

He wasn`t a superstitious man, but my God, sometimes he just had to wonder if number 22 was jinxed, at least for him.  
He had been happy there once. Falling in love with Gail, imagining a long and happy life with her, until she one day had left him and taken his children with him. He still remembered the day she called him to tell him the triplets were born. It was supposed to have been the happiest day of his life, but it wasn`t. Not able to see his children, holding them, bonding with them, but being stuck at home in that house…knowing he would never raise his family there, was more painful than anything he had ever experienced before. Everyone saw him as a failure back them, and that is exactly what he felt like.

So, he moved out. At least for a little while, until he moved back in with Caroline and Christina, just for the company.  
And then he fell in love. Again. Thinking back, he probably rushed it. Eager to settle down, having his own family, making his gran and his dad proud. Wanting to finally be proud of himself. And he was, at least for a little while, but his marriage with Christina was turbulent, to say the least, and desperate to fix things, they had agreed on a new start, away from Ramsay street.

He never thought he would end up back here, but for some reason, he did. The years to come after returning were somewhat blurry in his mind, due to his brain tumour. He remembered bits and pieces, mostly the pain he had caused the people he loved.  
He thought he had finally found peace when he met Rebecca, and that he after all these years would live a happy life with the woman he loved, in number 22. Again, the happiness was short lived. Like their relationship went toxic after they got married, and they ended up hurting each other repeatedly.  
So, he moved out. Promised himself that he was done with number 22.

And when Terese has asked him that night, why he was so reluctant about staying at number 22, as she had asked several times before that, he brushed it off, joked about it, saying the penthouse was his castle, when the reality was, he was afraid of failing again if he moved in with her.  
Terese was the one woman he could not risk hurting! The one woman he could never fail, because he knew that if he did, he would stop breathing! She was his lifeline. His moral compass, his sparring partner, his reason to wake up every morning, his lover. His queen. Without her, he would be nothing, and failing was not an option! 

Then Susan had called, and Terese had fallen apart in his arms. Loosing Sonya was devastating, seeing Terese in such pain was almost more than he could handle, but he knew he had to stay strong, for her.  
So, he took her home, home to Ramasy Street, home to number 22. He had meant to make her a cup of tea, sit with her, hold her, until she fell asleep, but she had begged him to stay.

“I need you tonight, Paul!” she had said, with tears in her eyes. “I need to be with you.”  
So he kissed the tears from her cheeks, kissed her lips, and promised himself that he would do everything in his power to take away her pain, to make her forget, if only for a little while, and to make her feel loved. Oh, how he loved her!  
Something changed that night. The first time they had slept together had been about relief, a celebration of her cancer recovery, a desperate need to be together, and it had ended the moment it was over, with months to come of anger and guilt.  
The second time had been fun. Celebrating their new relationship. Years of longing for each other, years of tension finally ending. 

But that night Sonya died, they made love. Love! They undressed each other slowly. They looked into each other’s eyes, and for the first time in his life, he felt like he connected to someone on a new level. A higher level. Like he could hear her thoughts, and she could hear his. Thinking back, he couldn`t remember either of them speaking a word. It was like time stood still when they kissed, like they were alone in this world, desperate to be closer than it was possible physically. When she finally fell asleep in his arms, right before dawn, he couldn`t tell who`s heartbeat he felt, his own, or hers, but he didn`t care. All he knew was that he would never let this woman go, that he would never fail again, because she would never let him. Terese and he were meant to be. Endgame. Simple as that.

The sound of his phone ringing brought him out of his thoughts, and he smiled when he saw Terese`s name on the display. He answered the phone as he turned out the lights and walked over to the elevator.

“Hi darling! Sorry I`m late, but don`t worry. I`m on my way home.”


End file.
